Gray Matter: Diver Janie Boyle

Ellen Geyer
Fri, 22 Mar 2024 01:03:53 +0000
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Janie Boyle, a graduate diver at Ohio State, is the subject of the second story in the “Gray Matter” series. Credit: Photo courtesy of Janie Boyle, graphic courtesy of Molly Goheen | Managing Editor for Digital Content

It was the most horrifying moment of Janie Boyle’s career.

Launching herself off the diving platform as she had so many times before, Boyle, suspended in midair, pulled her legs in tight and began what she hoped would be 3.5 flips in a pike position. As she moved through the air, it became clear that this dive would be unforgettable. But for all the wrong reasons.

On her way down from the 10-meter platform, Boyle hit her head on the diving tower, losing all sense of place and space as she hurtled towards the water uncontrollably.

The natatorium went silent.

Boyle pulled herself out of the water. Physically, she was fine. But the tears that welled in her eyes said everything her words did not.

Her team at the time, Texas, had already clinched the meet – the Big 12 Championship. The idea that Boyle’s day was done seemed a foregone conclusion to all in attendance.

Except Boyle.

A few minutes later, she climbed back up the platform again, tears still lingering on her lashes. She swept them off with a flick of her fingers, then dried her hands on her suit. She put her hands on her belly and took a deep breath in. She turned around and crept to the edge of the platform, heels hovering off. She lifted herself onto her tiptoes and exploded off the surface once again.

This time, the dive was perfect. But it wasn’t the execution that mattered — it was to “[not] let the fear fester.”

And that’s exactly what Boyle did.

“I knew that I wanted to go up there and finish the meet to prove to myself that no matter what the circumstances are, I can finish,” Boyle said.

That mindset has gotten Boyle far. Before coming to Ohio State as a graduate student this year, she won the Big 12 championship in platform diving. Her individual performance throughout her entire career at Texas helped her team win four consecutive Big 12 championships. She is a two-time All-American and was a finalist in the 2021 platform Olympic diving trials.

The magnitude of Boyle’s success is not apparent from her quiet, unassuming manner. During meets she can be found reading books or working on her homework. She graduated from Texas with a degree in biochemistry, a four-time first-team All-American scholar.

“I just like to do my thing, my own thing. Looking at the scores stresses me out. I just like to pretend that they don’t exist,” Boyle said. “In reality, especially in a sport, like diving, you can have the best meet of your life. But some people just might dive better than you — and that’s out of your control. And the thing that I’ve learned is the most important thing that you can do is focus on the things that are in your control.”

But that approach isn’t easy. And it certainly isn’t the way Boyle’s always thought about her sport.

“When I was younger, that process was really hard, and I’d be very upset just because of the subjectivity of the sport. It’s not swimming where time is time,” she said. “As I’ve gotten older, I’ve kind of gotten better at [accepting that] I did the best that I could. I know that I can do my best. And there’s really no improving upon that. Sometimes people just happen to dive better.”

Just as she’s learned to accept the imperfections of the good days, so too has Boyle come to let go of the difficulties of the bad ones.

“It’s a good thing to let yourself be sad. Let yourself feel what you feel for the day. And then when you go to sleep, and you wake back up, it’s a new day, and you can’t be sad about it or upset about it anymore,” Boyle said.

Sometimes that approach is easier said than done. Working with high school students through ACES Diving Club, a diving program with high-quality coaching geared towards athletes of all ages and skills, Boyle has started to recognize her own shortcomings in self-compassion and worked to correct them.

“When I don’t dive well, I’m beating myself up,” she said. “Through these kids, it’s helped me learn [that] it’s OK to make mistakes. It is okay to not be the best version of yourself every day. I see them beat themselves up over things and it breaks my heart. And I [realize] that’s probably what my coaches felt like with me.”

And though she’s the coach, Boyle has learned as much from the kids as she’s taught them.

“I see them making the same mistakes that I do, or I did. That helps me because I can identify when I’m doing something wrong a lot better now,” Boyle said.

That new perspective “gives you a lot more appreciation for the sport,” she said.